how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
