I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
