Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
