Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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