I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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