my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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