so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
