It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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