it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
