Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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