just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
