just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
