I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
