Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
