so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize