i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
