Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
