I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
