All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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