just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
