More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
