I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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