i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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