No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
send nudes
from the living room?
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