Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
