Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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