I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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