Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
this beer tastes like vomit already
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
