I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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