How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
