I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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