no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
