i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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