Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
