ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
nutella sex= disaster
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
