It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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