those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
