I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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