I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
