I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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