I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
