I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
