Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
