hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
