So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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