420 ftw
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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