We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
