I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's like iHOP with fire
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
