I love black thongs
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize