tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
