U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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