accomplished twins. life is a go
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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