This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize