You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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