There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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