Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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