Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
