you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
