Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
