My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Alive.
So much puke
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
