Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
