So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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