Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
